‘It Ends With Us’ is a hit, but does it trivialize domestic violence?

Blake Lively’s new movie “It Ends With Us” is a hit, earning $180 million worldwide since its Aug. 9 release. And Lively and her husband, Ryan Reynolds, whose “Deadpool & Wolverine” has earned more than $1 billion globally, are the first married couple to occupy the top two spots at the U.S. box office since Bruce Willis and Demi Moore 34 years ago, according to the Associated Press. The couple have cross-promoted the two movies on their Instagram feeds, in an echo of last year’s Barbenheimer frenzy.

Lively’s media tour in advance of “It Ends Of Us” was a whirlwind of aggressively floral outfits and breezy, bubbly interviews — everything that moviegoers have come to expect from summer romantic-comedy films bolstered by Hollywood A-listers, in other words. “‘It Ends With Us’ is in theaters now, so grab your friends, wear your florals, and head out to see it,” Lively said in one promo video.

But “It Ends With Us,” which is based on Colleen Hoover’s best-selling 2016 novel of the same name, is far from a rom-com — its central theme is domestic abuse. The movie has been surrounded by criticism that its marketing trivializes this theme and speculation about a feud among castmates.

“It Ends With Us” centers on Lily Bloom, a florist living in Boston who quickly falls in love with and marries neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid. But their relationship sours as Ryle begins hitting and emotionally manipulating Lily, whose mother endured abuse at the hands of her father. The relationship only worsens after Lily’s first boyfriend reenters her life, and Lily must decide whether to leave Ryle.

Survivor advocates accuse Lively of downplaying intimate partner violence — an issue that affects more than 12 million people a year.

Domestic violence survivors “relate to (Lily Bloom) because of an unimaginable experience,” said Yesenia Puente Bravo, a 33-year-old abuse survivor, social worker and mother in Panorama City, California. “... We don’t relate to her clothes. We don’t relate to her floral prints. We relate to her DV experience.”

At the film’s New York red-carpet event, Lively told the News Movement that she thinks her character is “so much more than just a victim of domestic abuse. It’s something that happened to her. But nothing any one person did to her can define her.”

“As a survivor I know I’m more than just a victim, I know I’m many other things,” a user commented on one of Lively’s posts. “But you missed the point and failed to deliver a powerful message about domestic violence.”

When the actress was asked the best way for someone affected by domestic violence to approach a conversation with her about the topic, she jokingly replied, “Are they asking for my address or my phone number or my location share?”

Lively’s Instagram page has been flooded with comments slamming her for using the press run to plug her new hair-care line and her drink companies, Betty Booze and Betty Buzz. Critics point out that Lily Bloom’s hair gets pulled aggressively in the book, and alcoholism is linked to an increase in domestic abuse.

After the movie premiered, Lively began sharing posts on her Instagram story that offered resources for people experiencing domestic violence. Before then, her messaging had largely been about the importance of portraying women and “the multitudes they hold.”

Justin Baldoni, who stars as Ryle and also directed the film, has been more vocal about domestic violence awareness in his interviews, championing anti-domestic abuse nonprofits such as No More, which has partnered with Baldoni’s production company to provide information about domestic abuse. Baldoni is represented by a PR group that specializes in reputation management and crisis communications.

Internet sleuths have pored over social media and on-set videos in search of evidence of a rift between Baldoni and Lively, while TMZ has followed the purported feud’s twists and turns. Representatives for Baldoni and Lively had no comment.

The film itself has had mixed reviews — the Post’s evaluation said it is “prone to tonal whiplash.” Portrayals of domestic violence in the media have long faced close scrutiny and criticism for perpetuating harmful ideologies about a complex and nuanced issue. A 2022 study found that representations of violence against women has resulted in an increased acceptance of societal attitudes favoring domestic abuse.

Hoover’s novel “feeds into the very structures of toxic masculinity that it purports to combat” by “romanticizing red flags” and glorifying a “charismatic-but-dangerous man,” according to an op-ed published on domesticshelters.org. The author also faced backlash for selling an “It Ends With Us”-themed nail polish set, and last year apologized over plans to release a coloring book inspired by the book.

But for survivors like Puente Bravo, Hoover’s book captured how they felt in their abusive relationships, and they hoped the movie adaptation would spur more conversations about the issue.

“There’s a conversation that can be happening right now about how we can help women, how we can help children, what resources we can provide. There’s a bigger conversation that’s being masked by her inability to show empathy in these promos,” Puente Bravo said. “Instead, we’re talking about how poorly Blake Lively represented us. So I feel like she took away from this conversation not just once, but twice.”

Nadia Neil, whose videos critiquing the movie’s marketing have racked up over 10 million views on TikTok, said that misleading messaging can be dangerous for those affected by abuse.

“I’ve heard from so many people that had no idea that this had anything to do with abuse. And the issue with that is survivors can go and see this movie without knowing it, and be retraumatized without being prepared for that, and be very triggered, especially in a public place,” Neil said. “Even more dangerous is the victims who go to see this film — thinking it’s a romance — with their abuser.”

However, No More has seen traffic to its global directory triple since the movie’s release and has received thousands of positive responses to its viewers’ guide and other resources, the foundation’s global chief executive Pamela Zaballa said in a statement. “While no one film or show can cover every nuance of such complicated topics, our shared goal with Wayfarer Studios has been to ensure that the film handled the issues of domestic and sexual violence as sensitively and accurately as possible,” she said.

Some viewers of the official trailer for “It Ends With Us” say it glazed over references of abuse and focused largely on teasing romantic scenes. But as a whole, it clearly depicted an abusive relationship, said Stephanie Brown, chief executive of Casa Myrna, a shelter and support nonprofit for domestic violence survivors in Boston.

“One of the ... things that’s very apparent, that is very typical of an abusive relationship, is the jealousy,” she said. “You can tell that her abuser is jealous of her relationship or her connection to Atlas.”

Brown believes that the movie boosts domestic violence awareness simply through its existence.

“It’s important that people see domestic violence in the media because we are told that it’s a family issue, that it should stay behind closed doors, that it’s only something between these two people, that it’s not universal,” she said. “And yet it is, and the more private people keep domestic violence, the less support there is for survivors.”