DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a retired physician from an academic medical center, and I continue to teach interested residents. I led a weekly seminar for senior residents last year. They worked very hard, and at the end of the year, my wife and I invited them to a reception at our home. The invitations included an RSVP.
Very few responded, but they all showed up!
I asked them why they had not responded, and the majority of these highly educated fifth-year residents -- who have all completed college and four years of medical school -- did not know the meaning of “RSVP”!
GENTLE READER: The fact that colleges, medical schools and medical residencies do not teach “RSVP” does not surprise Miss Manners. But surely they should teach students the obligation to answer questions, including ones such as “Would you like to come to a reception?”
Or perhaps they should not accept candidates who lack the common sense to figure that out on their own.
That said, she confesses to a dislike for the term “RSVP” -- especially when it is used as a noun or verb, and when it is rendered in capital letters instead of, properly, “R.s.v.p.”
Why are we using a French acronym? Why can’t we just say “Please respond”? Perhaps then, your students would have understood.
Whether they would have answered is another matter.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Even though compression socks are uncomfortable, I wear them when flying to prevent medical issues. Putting them on at home before I leave for the airport adds at least three hours of discomfort.
What is the least objectionable or rude way to put them on to reduce the amount of time I have to wear them? While seated at the terminal, partially shielded by my carry-on bag? After I’ve been seated on the airplane?
GENTLE READER: The idea here is to avoid exposing your bare feet near anyone’s face. Sweet they may be, but strangers tend to believe otherwise.
Therefore, the terminal is a better choice. But if you plan to wear thin socks under the others, Miss Manners will allow you a bit more time in comfort. Or a lot more, if your plane is late.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My adult brother asked my husband (a lawyer) and me (a professional writer) to “take a look at” a business letter he planned on sending. We both assumed he was asking for editing advice, and we proposed a radical rewrite. My husband dealt with the letter’s legal aspects, and I addressed its tone and approach.
My brother responded coldly to our proposed changes. His response was along the lines of “You have your style and I have mine.” We obviously hurt his feelings, and in hindsight, I wish we had simply rubber-stamped the project.
What would have been the appropriate way to handle this situation? And should we now apologize? He hasn’t spoken to us since, but he may just be busy.
GENTLE READER: No, he is sulking. Miss Manners has learned that “Tell me your honest opinion” is seldom an honest request.